Tuesday, August 19, 2014

How Having a Baby is Like Joining a Cult
(And no, I'm not talking about New Agey natural birth classes)

1) You become isolated from your friends

2) You are forcibly deprived of sleep

3) Your movements are restricted

4) You are cut off from familiar activities

5) Your actions become governed by the whims of a single individual

6) You are subject to random stresses (noises, emotional triggers, fear, unfamiliar scents and sensations) that wear you down

7) You find yourself inexplicably happy and relieved when the individual in 4) is happy and/or satisfied with your performance

8) You find yourself forgetting your sense of self and mirroring what individual in 4) says and does (ex: Ga-ga, goo-goo).

9) You can no longer remember your life beforehand.

10) You build totems of worship to individual in 4) (Mostly photos on Facebook).

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